You’re reading Signal vs. Noise, a publication about the web by 37signals since 1999.

Sympathize, yes. Empathize, yes. But do not apologize.

It’s not throwing one of your team members under the bus if, in fact, the fd it up.

And if it was you who fd up, own it.

I waited tables for years, and I can’t agree more. And YES , when you screw up or your team screws, you DO have to apologize. A simple, “I’m sorry, it’s my fault.” is the best option. If you can’t say your sorry and admit failure when you screw up, you are lying, and people are amazingly perceptive when they are being lied to. If your customers don’t trust you, they won’t support you, and more than likely they won’t give you a second chance.

We send a hand written note and a $5 gift card to Starbucks to customers with bad experiences.

There’s a difference between “owning it” as an individual internally, and “owning it” as a company externally. If you throw your team members under the bus to customers, you’re saying “we have absolutely no team mentality here”. I agree with those who say apologize, but apologize as a team.

Your company is only as strong as its weakest link, and customers don’t care who on the team screwed up.

This isn’t just good customer service, it’s a good technique for conflict resolution in general. It’s aiki, a form of verbal aikido.

“Customers did not give you money to get bad service.”

Not always true.

Sometimes, customers choose a radically lower cost option and pay for it (not in real dollars) via the lack of good service.

@Kevin -

Don’t apologize? Why ever not? Do you work for the airlines by any chance? Or the federal government?

Perhaps saying sorry is fine when you are a waiter, I don’t have much experience with that… but to me, saying “I’m so sorry…” or “I apologize…” in all cases is crazy.

An apology does nothing for me if I am bumped from a flight. Instead, fix it, make it right, give me some frequent flyer miles, something… a lame apology is worthless.

Situation: a visitor to a web site consistently forgets their password. Of course the site has a very typical “Forget your password” process, but the visitor just doesn’t get it or understands the concept of receiving password email. Instead, the visitor calls customer service and complains that logging into the site is “always problematic”... Of course, there is nothing wrong with the web site and no need to apologize. The customer service rep should use the phone call to “sell” the handy “Forget your password” process, not to apologize.

Situation: installing a new, faster web server. “Note to clients: This weekend we are installing a new web server which will vastly improve the overall performance of our web site. We apologize if this causes any inconvenience for you.”

WRONG ! Instead, take the opportunity to be positive and to sell your site!

“Note to clients: This weekend we are installing a new web server which will vastly improve the overall performance of our web site. During this time, the web site will be unavailable. But, when finished, the web site will scream!

Don’t apologize for trivial things, it only trivializes legitimate apologies. Instead, make “it” right.

Kevin, you must be single.

My wife and I were married 14 years ago; our anniversary was yesterday!

Of course, we are talking about business practices here today, not personal issues. Right? ;)

There’s a difference between saying “I’m sorry” and apologizing. Apologizing should be a process whereby you seek forgiveness for some wrongdoing or mistake you have made and attempt to make it right. Trivially saying “I’m sorry” but not backing it up with a change in behavior or true attempt to make it right is most certainly useless, and in many cases insulting.

Ergo, you should apologize if you make a mistake, but put your money where your mouth is when you do it.

“Don’t apologize” is just boilerplate Machiavelli. It has nothing to do with business and everything to do with ideology. If it will put the customer at ease while you work to fix the problem, why not apologize?

Some customers may appreciate an apology, it might make them “feel” better, okay fine that seems reasonable. However, apologies all too often are given as the solution and do not lead to any meaningful action to prevent the situation from occurring in first place. Don’t let it end there, fix the underlying problem.

Kevin is right. Don’t apologize for something you do not want to be held responsible for in court of law. Seriously. Once I took business Risk Management course for certification and one thing stuck in my head that instructor said. Do not apologize. You can sympathize but do not apologize.

Example: Say you are involved in car accident. You try to help someone that is injured or have conversation with him. You say are sorry about accident, just sorry will do it. It can and will be used against you as admittance of fault.

In business its a same thing. Once you apologize you accept the fault. Most of the time there is no repercussion. But it can happen so don’t apologize for something that you are not willing to accept consequences for.

Doing business while not being accountable or liable for the products that you give to your customers? That’s new.

I wonder if 37s apologizes when they decide to not include new client requested “features” in their their products. I could be wrong, but something tells me they do not. Respect clients, but also hire the right clients.

In some moments i think in let all and runaway, the problems in my life appear so big, but i became bigger, without allowing what this influences my professional life. One embrace bye

I think you should always apologise. It doesn’t solve the problem, but for many people it’s an essential starting point.

But I’d go further than the “eat something”. Consider that you won’t even hear most customer complaints. They’ll just go somewhere else. So getting a complaint is both an insight into a weakness in your business and an opportunity to astonish a customer. If you go as far as possible to make things right and make it up to them, they’ll become loyal customers (who’ll keep giving you insights) and will build your business by telling their friends and colleagues forever.

A significant failure will lose you not just one customer, but all their friends and colleagues.

Agree with the “under the bus” sentiment. If someone screwed up that needs to be dealt with internally, pinning the blame on a team member in front of the customer is just a way of saying “well it wasn’t MY fault” – bad for team morale, bad for customer confidence