"He led by caring" Sep 11
23 comments Latest by John Langlois
My brother-in-law Brian Lyons died in a motorcycle accident last week. He was 42 years old.
I’ll spare you the personal side of this tragedy and focus instead on some workplace perspective I gained from the reaction of colleagues to his death.
Leading by teaching
Brian and I didn’t really talk much about work. Kinda odd perhaps since we worked in the same industry (he was the co-founder, CEO, and CTO of Number Six Software). But during family gatherings, it seemed more appropriate to discuss food and fireworks (he was a big fan) than “The Mythical Man Month.”
I knew he was what you’d consider an “expert.” He grew his company from a small startup to a 150+ employee operation. He wrote books, papers, and articles. He spoke at conferences. He was considered an authority on the Rational Unified Process, Eclipse Process Framework, Service Oriented Architecture and Agile.
But you don’t really know what someone is like at work if you don’t work with them. So the emotional reaction of his colleagues surprised me a bit. They showed up in droves at the funeral services and tearfully recalled the impact he had on their lives.
They didn’t talk about him as a boss or an expert. They talked about him as a mentor and a friend. How he always had time to answer the questions of even the newest employee. The calls of support he’d make before and after someone took a certification exam. The way he reached out to compliment someone on a thoughtful blog post. And they chuckled at his everpresent sense of humor, like the time he showed up at a team-building cooking class in a chef’s outfit. Several people told me the same thing: “He led by caring.”
Tributes at his company blog
His coworkers have been posting tributes to him at the company blog. Here’s a typical entry:
I was surprised that a CEO would come right over to answer the questions of a new employee whom he had never met. I was also amazed that, despite my simplistic inquiries, he answered with detail and zest. Ensuing weeks witnessed similar gestures – notices about webinars; critiques of the webinars; advantages and disadvantages of use cases and activity diagrams; the pace of development cycles; and the integration of testing with development. Here clearly is a CEO who wants to develop his employees.
The morning of my RUP exam he somehow knew I was taking it and found the time to wish me luck and to answer any questions I may still have had. After the exam he offered his congratulations…Here is a leader who cares about his people.
What will last longer is remembering his complete lack of ego and his passion for helping others grow. About 18 months ago I was brainstorming with Brian on use-case modeling and the requiremements management process. Brian was firing question after question at me. One part of me was thinking “I give up Brian just tell me the answer” but the other part was relishing that he wasn’t going to give up. Brian knew that it is not enough to impart knowledge, you also have to give others the capability and confidence to do that themselves.
Other posts offer similar thoughts: “I guess I never really thought of him as the CEO as much as a mentor and friend.”...”Many people can usually recall a teacher that had some kind of significant impact on them. Brian was one such person to me.” Etc.
The way you treat people is the legacy you leave
There are different ways to lead. Some people get results by yelling and bullying. But it’s even more impressive when someone can motivate people by teaching and caring. When you do that, you’re a successful leader and a successful human being.
So maybe someone out there will read this and decide to take a little extra time to help a colleague, answer a question, or reach out to someone in need of help. I think Brian would like that a lot.
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23 comments so far
ML 11 Sep 07
In case anyone’s interested, a scholarship fund has been set up in Brian’s name. Details at the bottom of this page.
Killian 11 Sep 07
What a well written and touching tribute… my condolences
Ryan Sievert 11 Sep 07
Terribly sorry to hear about your loss.
Dennis Eusebio 11 Sep 07
Sorry to hear about your loss. He sounds like he was a great person.
Geoffrey 11 Sep 07
Thank you. As one who is studying leadership skills, this is a great reminder.
Matt 11 Sep 07
Sorry to hear that Matt…
Mart 11 Sep 07
sorry for your loss Matt.
I’ve always agreed with the maxim that if you truly know what you are talking about you can explain things simply.
This alludes to exactly the same ego-less way of being that your brother lived by, by the sounds of it.
If others – your staff – do well, then it reflects well on everyone. Only the insecure feel the need to bully and patronise and rule quote.
My ideal of a great leader/boss always follow this – it seems an intrinsic part of the way these people are and is something to aim for.
rest in peace.
David 11 Sep 07
I’m really sad to hear this news. Brian was a major inspiration to many of us whom knew him. Brian inspired people and was truly a bright and energetic spirit. His love of people and drive to motivate was evident in the people I knew at Number 6 and was a motivator for me starting my company. I am sad for his family and friends who will also miss him. Cherish every moment you have…..
Piyush 11 Sep 07
Truly inspiring.
May Brian rest in peace.
Jane Quigley 11 Sep 07
What a gift to get that kind of insight into who he was outside of your family life. Brian sounds like a wonderful person.
Sorry for your loss.
Marius Hanganu 11 Sep 07
I’m sorry for your loss. This is possibly the best thing one can left behind – the appreciation of family, friends and colleagues. An inspiring post…
Adam 11 Sep 07
Through reading the posts from Brian’s friends, family, and coworkers, it is obvious that he had a very deep and positive impact on many peoples lives.
Matt: As a husband, and father of two young children, this really hit home. I am sorry for your family’s loss. Thank you for an inspiring and heartfelt post.
Jeremy Norberg 11 Sep 07
Matt. An article worth more than you can imagine. In a time were we celebrate leaders that belittle and personally attack employees, peers, family; this is a striking example of a real human being, and his impact on everyone around him. Bravo for celebrating him this way.
Mark 12 Sep 07
He sounds like a cool guy, and yes there are some good tidbits of management style that should be and will be passed on from his example.
My condolences to you and your family, especially for your sister and nephew.
Thanks for the heartfelt post.
Tamara 12 Sep 07
Hey Bro, That was an incredibly well-written tribute to Brian. Thank you. These blog posts will be printed out and saved for his little boy Asher, so he may read them when he is older. I hope Brian’s caring spirit and skillful leadership re-appear in his son.
Scott 12 Sep 07
ML, My condolences to you and your family. Your words on this venue are a credit to your brother-in-law Brian, your family, your self.
I hope that you and your family find some measure of peace in the closeness that this loss brings.
With sincere regret for your loss, Scott C. Hughes
Sridhar 12 Sep 07
Sorry to hear that Matt, my condolences to Brains family
May god rest him in peace
Tim 12 Sep 07
Matt, my condolences to you, your sister, and all of your family. Thanks for writing this piece. It’s not only a helluva tribute to Brian, but a great reminder of what real leadership- and real humanity -is all about.
Brian Webb 13 Sep 07
Matt, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My sincerest condolences to you and your family. Your accolades for your brother seem to be resonating far and wide. God bless.
Brian
Indi 13 Sep 07
Perhaps the true sign of a great soul is that we are saddened by their passing yet inspired by their story.
Condolences.
Steven Krein 14 Sep 07
Matt,
I am deeply sorry to hear about your loss. My sincerest condolences to you, your sister, nephew and the rest of your family.
Steve
simlplegeek 15 Sep 07
Sorry to hear your loss, my condolence to you and your family.
John Langlois 17 Sep 07
Matt, Is there anything I can do to relieve your work load over the coming weeks? I’m a utility player. Use me.
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